Mushy-Mommy-Moment

Summer has come and gone so quickly. Kotah starts Kindergarten in 3 weeks, that's right 3 WEEKS!!! 1. I can't believe that the baby I once held so close to my chest and rocked through the nights is big enough to be going to Elementary... and 2. Why oh why didn't I take more pictures/video him more and hold on to the memories of his infancy better??? We have come a long way as a family since finding out that we were expecting Kotah.

So, there are many of you that know, but if you don't Jeremiah and I found out we were expecting Kotah on January 17, 2005. We had been dating for 2 1/2 months. We had just gotten back from visiting Jer's family in Oregon and I realized I wasn't quite feeling like myself. After taking the tests at home, alone, I called him (he was still driving back down to Orem) and told him the good/bad news. I didn't know what to do. We had been talking about getting married in August, but this would pretty much throw a wrench in those previous plans. It was a few days later that I told my sister and she sat with me while I told my parents (needless to say they did NOT take the news quite as gracefully as Jer's family did). When my parents were forced to inform the rest of their families it actually seemed to help them deal with the unfortunate news better themselves. We had one of 2 weekends in the next 2 months that Jeremiah's mom could fly in for a wedding so when my sister/her fiance came home and announced that they had booked the temple for one of those days we were left with just one option. So 4 weeks after realizing a baby was coming we were married on February 19, 2005 (which happened to be my paternal grandparents' 52nd wedding anniversary). We did not go on a honeymoon. We spent our wedding night with Jer's mom, sister, best man/his wife, my friend all on air mattresses in our newly UNfurnished apartment. We spent the next 7 months trying to find Jeremiah a steady job, me balancing school and 2 jobs, and trying to acquire enough things that we could provide something for this baby we were going to have to give everything for. With the help of ward members, friends, and family we were able to have the bare necessities for our new born when we brought him home. The camera we took to the hospital didn't focus so when we got all the pictures printed there was NOT A SINGLE PICTURE THAT WAS GOOD! This was extremely hard for me because I had to have a general anesthesia to put me out during the emergency C-section. I don't remember the first day and really I don't remember much of the next few in the hospital. Thankfully Kotah took well to nursing so I could sorta re-capture that bonding I felt robbed of due to the way Kotah was born. I did everything I could to enjoy those next 6 weeks before I had to go back to work. I was not able to stay home with him as an tiny little baby. I had to work the first year of his life and then the second year was spent finishing my last year of schooling. It was during this second year that we found out we were expecting Kenai (January 15, 2007) I was just starting my student teaching.

Kotah was the BEST little guy while I was pregnant. He would get up early with me and get as ready as he could to head off to Grandma's (words can not express the depth of my gratitude I felt/feel toward my mom for sacrificing her time to take care of my child). I graduated with High Honors and other awards within my area of specialties. I would have loved to go to work, but with Kenai due in September there was no way a school would hire me on to begin teaching that year. Since May of 2007, when I graduated, Jeremiah has gradually increased his level of expertise in Painting and has been able to improve his employment each time we thought I needed to start back to work. I have LOVED BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM! There is nothing that can replace the time I had away from Kotah when he was so little, but I have done everything I can since the day I stopped working for a paycheck to capture every memory I could.

Babies grow way to fast. Tonight after Kaiya and Kenai had gone to sleep I sat with Kotah on my lap and talked with him. He is such a little man sometimes and I just want him to enjoy being a kid. If I could keep my kids at the ages they are currently I would. They would be home with me all day, everyday. They would like me. They would tell me they love me. They would always want me when things scared them/hurt them/or just because I'm their MOMMY. There is no greater JOB in this life than the JOB of being a MOM!

I hope as my babies continue to grow they will always know the level of love I feel for them. The sacrifices we have made as their parents. And mostly I hope that I can teach them to live their lives in a way that is positive and uplifting to those they surround themselves with. I hope my babies grow up to be strong, powerful, independent leaders among peers, co-workers, and all those they come in contact with.