... for example:
When you first get home you are dreading the whole "getting up every hour to feed, change, cuddle, comfort... etc." and YET when it ended at 5 months with Kotah I vowed I'd do my best to make it to a year with the next one... with Kenai I made it 14 months (yes, I nursed him that long) and now I am on the fence with Kaiya (I have been since she turned 6 months). She is eating a LOT more now and only needs to nurse a few times a day/night. I wonder if she'd sleep longer than 4 or 5 hours if I'd give her a full bottle, but then I realized I LOVE GETTING UP IN THE NIGHT. I love that I am the only one that can give that to her. I love the love I see in her eyes when I pick her up out of the crib and cradle her to my chest. I Love that she will wrap her arms around me and hug me as she eats. I don't want this to end, because you never know if this baby will be the last baby. I seem to cherish those seemingly not so wonderful moments that are provided through parenting with each growing baby.
...example #2:
People would tell me with each baby just how hard and difficult it was to add another one, and yet I'd have to say my kids did not seem that difficult. Kotah LOVED doing and getting anything and everything I asked of him (for a 2 year old) when we had Kenai and it is just double that with 2 BOYS wanting to get/do/provide everything for their beloved little sister. Don't get me wrong, we do have our moments, but it is still easy to overlook those with so many positive ones.
...example #3
Letting them go... The first day Kotah went to preschool I didn't make a scene at the school. He was so so SO excited to get there and be with the other kids that I just couldn't let my own selfish emotions ruin that for him so I held it together until I got home and it was just me and Kenai (we cuddled almost the entire 3 hours, he missed him too). The next year we were the experienced ones and others were crying so I was thankful Kotah was ready to get in an help those kids cope. Next week he'll be heading to Kindergarten and Kenai will be off to preschool... how is this Mommy handling that thought? I love it. They are both so excited to get to school and learn (Kotah can't wait to read better) and Kenai just wants to play with the other kids his age. Besides one is in the morning and one is in the afternoon so that will give me (and Jeremiah) personal time with each of them.
...example #4 (the whole reason for this rambling post)
Getting the baby to sleep (on her own)... I tried with Kotah to let him cry himself to sleep, but after trying night after night (and me not being able to stand his crying) I decided just to keep with MY ROUTINE of holding him while he took his bottle and then putting him to bed AFTER he had fallen asleep in my arms. I tried again with Kenai to let him cry himself to sleep. Again I just could not stand hearing him cry and cry for how ever long it is they say to leave them. So I'd go in, pick him up, wrap him in his blanket (which he still sleeps with) and give him his Binky until he'd fall asleep in my arms then lay him down in the crib. That brings me to Kaiya... I have tried this week to nurse her and put her in there while she is just MOSTLY asleep, but each time I lay her down her eyes fly open as if to ask, "Why, Mommy? Why are you putting me down? I want you to hold me. Will you please just hold me until I fall asleep?" Call me crazy, but I just can NOT leave my baby alone and crying so I rock with her for a few minutes after which she is asleep and I can put her in the crib without a fuss (from her or me).
So what was my point in all this? Just that every Baby/Child/Mommy relationship is different and necessary for those who are involved so please don't try to tell me I'm doing it wrong because I could tell you a dozen or so things that I feel YOU ARE DOING WRONG!!! That is all. Lots of Loves to those of you who read this (the person this is directed at will never see it).
6 comments:
I've rocked or nursed all three of my babies to sleep and they are totally fine. They sleep in their own beds, go to sleep on their own now, and honestly, they are only babies once. Who cares how you get them to sleep? And who wouldn't want to rock that sweet little one to sleep every night? They grow up way too fast. As long as they have a mommy and daddy who loves them, I say you're doing a great job. :)
Whenever asked for advice at a baby shower or friends or whatever, I always give the same advice:
Do what works for you.
Awe, this post was perfect for me. As I literally sit here rocking my baby to sleep, I read your post and loved it. Nick and I had this conversation tonight, actually. He asked me when we have to start letting Luke cry himself to sleep and I told him that I don't know but I don't think I can do it. It breaks my heart to hear him cry! I think that you are right, we all have to do what is best for us and our babies! I, too, love nursing my baby and having him hug me as I do. It is sweet. (I'll be honest though, in the middle of the night I don't always fully appreciate it.) Anyway, thanks for posting this tonight. It helps me feel that I really am doing things right.
How sweet! I know that my baby doesn't like to be rocked to sleep - she likes it when she's almost asleep to be laid down and then fall asleep. But then she's the girl that when she's fussy during the day I lay her in her playpen and she starts to smile and talk again. Babies are different, and I guess I'm strange because I'm okay if they cry a little bit - especially in the early morning when I'm so tired!
You're doing wonderful and your kids are great. Whatever it is you're doing, keep it up. No worries.
I'm not sure what prompted this post, but it has reminded me that I should be more careful when doling out advice. I couldn't wait to sleep train my babies because I don't deal well without sleep, but I can see why it works for you, and you've made me wonder if I didn't move too quickly.
Just know that advice is usually well meant, even if it is unasked for or totally inappropriate for your situation.
It's obvious how much you love your kids, and if the person who said you are doing it wrong can't see that you ALWAYS have your kids interests first and foremost in your decisions, then they are missing out on something special. You are good mommy. Don't let the peanut gallery get to you. :)
This is why I'm not reading every little book on how to be a mother, or nurse, or sleep, or anything. I feel like there is such a thing as motherly instinct and while advice can help, if we love our kids we'll know what is best for them an their well being. You go girl!!
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