I admit it. I had a moment today. Okay so not just A MOMENT, but many moments where I almost lost it. I woke up at 5AM, got ready for work and headed off. (1) I got home from work last night about 9:30 and everyone was sleeping--- except for Kotah --- so I was up and gone again before they even knew I'd been home. I got to work as the light was beginning to crack the horizon (2) I sat in my car for a good 5 minutes trying to compose myself (3,4, and 5) I went into work, got my lab coat, put my lunch in the fridge, and went out to the floor to clock in (6) ....I like my job MOST days.... I knew today was NOT going to be one of those days. Head back to the floor where I'm put into my own section to enter, stick, and monitor donors while they're donating their plasma. First Stick... (7) Second Stick... (8) Third Stick.... what the CRAP is wrong with me today? I can't focus. I'm getting the veins, but they aren't getting good draw/return pressure... (9) What am I doing wrong? 11 o'clock rolls around and I know Kenai's first soccer game of the Spring season is about to start (10, 11) I DO NOT want to be at work any longer... I go to lunch, call Jeremiah and ask how the game went... KENAI SCORED A GOAL!!! and I wasn't there to see it (12) Go back out on the floor. Work has gotten better. I'm having fun. I'm smiling. My co-workers are being good. Get a good stick on a guy (who apparently is harder to stick than most) and what do I do???? I forget to clamp a clamp that allows me to remove a cap and attach the needle line to the machine.... blood escapes the line, on the bed, on me, on him... Air Exposed and he isn't allowed to donate for the day. (13, 14... gonna get written up for that 15)... my trainer says, "Well, that sucks. Oh-well. Get this next one." She's great. (Smile) FINALLY 4 o'clock shows up. I clock out, on time. Walk out to the car where Jeremiah's waiting for me to hand off the kids before he leaves for a Powwow in Provo... the kids are all yelling for me.... "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy....." "...I missed you..." "...guess what I did in my game..." "...how was your day..." Jeremiah wraps his arms around me and just lets me hold him a little longer than I would normally hold him in the parking lot in front of my co-worker (whom Jeremiah likes to have stick him, haha) Co-worker says, "See ya Monday. It'll be a better day," and smiles at us as he leaves. Jeremiah kisses me goodbye and leaves for his powwow as I leave with the kids. We get home. The kids bath. They tell me ALL about their games. We go to dinner at Applebee's. Kotah tells me about how he scored 2 goals in his game... again (smile and yet 16) After dinner I took the kids BOWLING... NOTHING BUT SMILES. On our way home we see that there is a girls U12 softball game going on at a park, and although we are not prepared to sit out in the cold very long we stop... for 3 at bats total and I visit with a mother about how I use to play and how I LOVED SOFTBALL and how I can't believe it has been so long since I was running the bases and swinging the bat... We left and came home. I tucked each child into their beds and as I did so I held them each in my arms and kissed their foreheads and whispered how much I love them... (17, 18, then 19) and they each pressed their lips to my tear streamed cheeks and repeated to me how much they love me. Kotah thanked me for the wonderful night, and for working my job so he can play Lacrosse and we can do fun things as a family. Kenai asked me to lay beside him until he fell asleep- which I did (20). As I watched his breathing deepen I realized life is full of days like this, but if my kids know how much they are LOVED and I take the time to SHOW them that love... then I can handle (almost) losing it a few days a week.
PS- all this "almost" all day has finally found its moment to escape and I'm just fine with that as I sit here alone on the couch waiting for a text from Jeremiah telling me he's on his way home. So..... How was your day, Friends???
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