For the last 3 summers Kotah has played with the same core players. They were from all over Weber/Davis/Morgan counties. They came from varying types of backgrounds and varying levels of financial capabilities. The first year was a hasty, thrown together type of thing where the coach of an "All-Star" team wanted his boy to play in the summer so he recruited from families in the area that were already involved with older players and found referrals from them. The group did alright, but more importantly it exposed players and families to the next level of play. The second year was more organized and structured. A group of parents/coaches put together 2 teams, Wrath. One team was comprised U13 players (7/8 graders) and the other was U11 players (5/6 graders, Kotah was a 5th grader). We went to 4 tournaments and placed 3, 2, and 1st in 3 of them. We had good relationships within the players as well as the parents, at that time. So after the final tournament Jeremiah along with the team's head coach got together and decided they were going to leave Wrath and form their own program... SAGE Lacrosse. Through much of the fall and all of the winter Jeremiah was busy designing and purchasing the plans for the jerseys as well as organizing the coaching staff with those who were coming with us. There was going to be the same Head Coach, Jeremiah would help and another parent (or 2) would also be assisting. They held formal tryouts as a way to appear unbiased in order to CUT several of the players from the previous year that the Head Coach did not want to have to deal with and Jeremiah agreed. We had a large number of players, more than we anticipated, that came... including many YOUNGER so we formed 2 teams and the younger players were forced to play up in a U12 division. So to give you and idea of how that was, there were 4th graders playing against 6th graders... some of those 4th graders were closer to Kenai's age in the 3rd grade and some of those 6th graders were closer to 7th graders. This meant players (Kenai included) were having to face off against kids almost 4 years older than them. One team (Kotah's team) did alright, but seemed to lack discipline and drive. They wouldn't come to practices. They wouldn't call to say they'd be gone. They treated it as though we were the ones that should be thanking THEM for them playing with our teams. The less experienced, novice, team had GREAT parental involvement, attendance, communication. The summer season was not as we had hoped/dreamed it would be, but the boys were still having fun and learning, getting better, improving their skills and we though forging a bond that would carry them into the next season of SAGE.
In JULY we were notified that our last tournament of the summer was going to be canceled. We discussed it with parents and it was agreed that we'd play in the Rendezvous tournament the last weekend in October. So we got our rosters formed and held a team banquet for BOTH teams to say thank you and recognized all the hard work put in not just from the players but also from the families (it can get really tiring when you're little, getting pulled all over for your siblings)... We had HALF the people that RSVPd "YES" not show up, and you guessed it... it was ALL from the "better" team. Coaches didn't even respond saying Yes/No they'd be there. Those same people RSVPd that they were still going to play in the Rendezvous tournament. So I registered a team with 18 players... then one by one these last 3 weeks since we started practicing I've had parents email me with one excuse or another saying they'd be out of town, or the "other" parent was going to have them that weekend, or they didn't know (even though we'd sent out multiple emails and they'd responded). NOW this week I have finally had notifications from 4 OF OUR ORIGINAL PLAYERS (FROM 3 YEARS AGO) telling me that "their plans had changed and they'd be in town; however, they've already committed to another team and THAT team is also playing in this tournament". "ALREADY committed"? like before the other team's tryouts in September that you posted pictures of, like in August when I re-verified rosters before registering, like in JULY when you already committed to Sage for that tournament? Like before May when you already committed to Sage? or last fall or last summer when you were "100% committed to starting and growing a program in our area rather than having 'all the best players' traveling to Salt Lake City to play on 'their' comp lacrosse teams"?
It feels like a break up. You know, the one that comes out of nowhere. You expected it from one or two of them because that's exactly how they are with ALL aspects of their life, but to have it be the one that started all this. The one that came to Jeremiah and wanted so badly to "get away from 'that' mentality" to give comp lacrosse to the kids that can't afford thousands of dollars to play a game they love. To have someone you thought was a friend no matter what just up and DUMP YOU... There is an empty/hollow feeling in my gut. (I'm sure its even deeper in Jeremiah's) He thought of you as a friend, someone he could come to and confide in. Someone who wanted the same things he did for all these boys. He told you things he didn't even tell me, until AFTER he'd told you. You were his friend, and for someone that understands him they know this hurts him more than he'll ever admit. You go ahead and pursue that college scholarship for your 6th grader. We have more important things in life that matter to us. Sports shouldn't be about just getting to the next best thing. It should be about personal development in character, honor, loyalty, being trustworthy and steadfast in who you are and what you represent on and off the fields. Sports seasons should rotate. Football into wrestling, into basketball, into soccer, into baseball, into lacrosse, into whatever else you want to try. Kids should have fun. Parents should have fun. We only get a few short years of playing and fun before we have to grow up and work. Life is to be enjoyed. Right now our home is hurting, but we also knew this was going to happen eventually. We don't have deep pockets. We provide what we can when we can. Our children know that education and academics is farm more important in the long race of life. And when that sun sets at the end of your time here on earth you won't say, "I wish I'd have spent more money..." you'll undoubtedly say, "I wish I'd have spent more TIME..."
My coaching philosophy has always been and will always be "players first, winning second"
I feel much better venting this all out on our blog.
I finally have a much calmer feeling in my heart and in my gut than I've had the past few weeks.
Did you know I did a Crossfit Competition almost 2 weeks ago with my best friend and we took second in our division? Did you know (of course you do) I've lost 2 of my remaining grandparents this year... and now I only have one grandma left? Did you know that its hard to not have my grandma here to talk to about all this, like I use to do? Did you know that I wish I had real friends when I was younger? I have learned over the years that MOST of the friendships I form in my life are superficial, temporary friendships. There are very few people that know my secrets, that know my history and still want to be around me? Did you know that a girl who bullied me relentlessly in elementary school died and I was HAPPY.... I was RELIEVED....I felt sorry for her family, but it was like someone physically removed something out of my body the day I learned she died... and then I immediately thought of a girl from my church that I BULLIED to make myself feel better, and I wondered if she feels for me the same way I felt for my bully. Why do we do this to one another? Why do we think we have to put someone else down in order to build ourselves up? Why do we place so much emphasis on things or position or our status compared to others? Life is too short. It has become so abundantly clear that dwelling on achieving something that will only temporarily be yours is pointless. Life should be spent building meaningful relationships that will last through the eternities. Life should be about people and moments and experiences that will stay with you forever. "God created man that they may have JOY." If you aren't doing something that brings you JOY, try something new. Go out there and change something about YOU. You can't change others, not their thoughts, not their actions, BUT you can change you. You can help others to change, but THEY MUST DO IT.
I feel so much better getting all this out there and in the open. I love you my friends. Those who have stood by me during the dark times and those lucky enough to have experienced my immature adolescence (I'm sorry I wasn't a better person then). To those new friends that we are just feeling things out and seeing how vulnerable we will be with one another, it may be a while... I don't like this hurt, but if we make it through I'm sure it'll be more than worth it.
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